I'M NOT DRINKINGAND DRIVING
I'M DRIVINGWHILE I'M DRINKING !
RIGHT BOYS ?
OH, I GOTTA PEE,HAND ME THATEMPTY BOTTLE.
WHAT ?JUST PULL OVER.
STAN YOU NEED TO LEARN SOMETHINGS ABOUT BEING A MAN.
NOW GIVE METHAT BOTTLE.
THERE'S A... REASONGOD MADE OUR PENISES
LIKE LITTLE HOSES, BOYS.
HOLD THE WHEEL, STAN.
WHEN YOU BOYSSTART DRIVING
YOU'RE GONNA NEEDTO LEARN TO DO THIS TOO.
DAD, WE'REGONNA CRASH !
SSSH, I'M TRYINGTO CONCENTRATE !
JUST HOLDTHE DAMN WHEEL.
( Kyle )DUDE, I THINKYOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED.
OH YEAH ?
GET OFF MY ASS,DICKHOLE !
NO, DUDE,IT'S THE POLICE.
( siren wailing )
OH CRAP !
HERE, HOLD THIS !
AW, IT'S ALL WARM !
EVERYBODYJUST STAY CALM.
I CAN HANDLETHIS, NO PROBLEM !
I KNOW HOW TO DEAL...
( tapping )
LICENSE ANDREGISTRATION, PLEASE .
WHAT SEEMS TO BETHE OFFICER, PROBLEM ?
SIR, WHY DON'T YOUSTEP OUT OF THE CAR FOR ME.
SIR, I'M GOING TOGIVE YOU A SOBRIETY TEST.
OKAY, NO PROBLEM.
STAND OVER HERE, PLEASE.
ALRIGHT, NOW I WANT YOU TO HOLDYOUR ARMS OUT AT YOUR SIDES.
THERE,I DID IT, SEE ?
NO PROBLEM !
AND NOW TOUCH YOURFINGER TO YOUR NOSE.
DO WHAT ?
TOUCH YOUR FINGERTO YOUR NOSE.
OH, COME ON,THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE !
JUST BRING ONE HANDTO YOUR NOSE LIKE THIS.
OKAY... OKAY...HANG ON...
HANG ON, HANG ON...
DUDE, WHAT THE HELLIS HE DOING ?
I THINK HIS PANTSARE FALLING DOWN.
WHAT,WHAT'D I DO ?
WHAT'D I DO ?
( pffffft )
KEEP BLOWING,KEEP BLOWING...
OH JESUS !
THIS IS SOEMBARRASSING.
YOU KNOW, STAN.
I'D SAY THAT YOUR DADRACKS A DIS-A-PRIN.
Stan's Dad gets pulled over for drunk driving.
The boys have to help Mr. Garrison get his testicles out of Kyle's knees.x CLOSE
Cartman seeks to rid the world of hippies once and for all.x CLOSE
The boys realize they can make 10% of someone else's hard-earned money just by being talent agents.x CLOSE
Cartman's jealous when Kenny gets the last new portable gaming device before the toy store runs out. Will Cartman and Kenny be able to stay best friends forever?x CLOSE
If the boys can lose just one baseball game, it gets them out of playing the boring sport for the entire summer.x CLOSE
Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead.x CLOSE
Jimmy has to get control of his raging hormones in time to perform in the school's talent show.x CLOSE
The world's largest beaver dam breaks, flooding the nearby town of Beaverton. As the victims wait for help to arrive, the people of South Park declare a Global Warming State of Emergency.x CLOSE
In order to retrieve a Future Telling Device the girls possess, Butters must fake his death, dress up as a girl and infiltrate their slumber party.x CLOSE
Mrs. Garrison still has feelings for Mr. Slave, but it's too late -- Mr. Slave has moved on and plans to marry his new love as soon as the Governor signs the same-sex marriage bill.x CLOSE
Stan's Dad gets pulled over for drunk driving.x CLOSE
Randy goes to an AA meeting.x CLOSE
Mr. Marsh begins drinking again.x CLOSE
Stan's Dad shows up drunk to drive the boys home from karate practice.x CLOSE
Stan's Dad talks to Stan's class about drunk driving.x CLOSE
Stan comes home after school to find his dad drunk on the couch.x CLOSE
Randy decides his only hope is to be cured by a bleeding Virgin Mary statue.x CLOSE
Stan gets thrown out of an AA meeting for calling it a cult.x CLOSE
Cardinal Mallory determines the bleeding statue is a miracle.x CLOSE
Randy insists on visiting the statue in hopes of being cured.x CLOSE