YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS !
OH GOD !I'VE GOT TERRIBLE NEWS !
TED KOPPEL WANTS USTO APPEAR ON "NIGHTLINE"
TO TALK ABOUT OUR CAUSE !
REALLY ?THAT'S GREAT !
NO, IT ISN'T, MAN !
THAT IS WAYTOO MUCH PRESSURE !
IF WE GO ON NIGHTLINE, THE WHOLECOUNTRY CAN HEAR ABOUT
WHAT'S HAPPENING TOOUR CLASSIC FILMS !
JUST REMEMBER THATI DO ALL THE TALKING.
YOU ? WHY ?
BECAUSE I'M THEOFFICIAL SPOKESMAN.
I GOT DIBS ON IT.
WHEN DID WE DODIBS FOR IT ?
JUST NOW.ONE TWO THREE-- DIBS !
ALRIGHT, FINE, YOU'RETHE SPOKESMAN, CARTMAN.
BUT YOU BETTER NOTSCREW IT UP !
WHAT COULDPOSSIBLY GO WRONG ?
A NEW MOVEMENT ISSWEEPING THE COUNTRY,
LED BY FOUR DETERMINED BOYSFROM SOUTH PARK, COLORADO.
THE ORGANIZATION WAS CREATEDTO PROTECT HOLLYWOOD'S
CLASSIC FILMS FROM THE HANDSOF THEIR DIRECTORS,
AND ALSO TO FREEHAT McCULLOUGH.
SO BOYS, I'LL ASK YOUTHE QUESTION THAT'S ONEVERYONE'S MINDS.
WHY DOES YOUR ORGANIZATION WANTTO FREE HAT McCULLOUGH,
THE CONVICTED, CONFESSED SERIALMURDERER OF 23 BABIES ?
I BELIEVE THAT CANBEST BE ANSWERED
BY OUR OFFICIALSPOKESMAN, TWEEK.
WELL, HAT McCULLOUGH ADMITTEDHE KILLED THOSE TODDLERS,
WHY DO YOU WANT HIM FREE ?
OH, JESUS, MAN !
JUST ANSWER METHIS, TWEEK--
WHAT DO YOU SEE AS POSITIVEABOUT TODDLER MURDER ?
UH, UH, IT'S...IT'S EASY ?
YES, IT IS EASY.
ALRIGHT, THEN ON TOYOUR OTHER CAUSE.
"SAVING FILMS FROMTHEIR DIRECTORS".
WHAT GOT YOU BOYSINTERESTED IN THIS ?
ESPECIALLY GIVEN YOURPRO-TODDLER MURDER STATUS.
WE BELIEVE THAT FILMS HAVE TO BETAKEN AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE
STEVEN SPIELBERG AND GEORGELUCAS BECAUSE THEY'RE INSANE.
I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT, BOYS,BECAUSE JOINING US NOW
ARE STEVEN SPIELBERGAND GEORGE LUCAS !
OH CHRIST, AGH !
HELLO, TED.HI, TED.
GENTLEMEN, THESE TODDLER MURDERFANS THINK THAT YOU'RE INSANE
AND SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWEDTO ALTER YOUR FILMS.YOUR RESPONSE ?
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,BOTH GEORGE AND I
ARE VERY FIRMLY AGAINSTTHE MURDERING OF TODDLERS.
DUDE, THAT'S STEVEN SPIELBERGAND GEORGE LUCAS.
GET ME OUT OF HERE !
PLEASE SOMEBODY GET MEOUT OF HERE !
AND AS FORALTERING OUR FILMS,
ALL WE'RE DOING REACHINGA NEW AUDIENCEWITH OUR MOVIES.
AS THE MAKERS OF DREAMS, WE LIKETO SPEAK FOR THE CHILDREN.
UH, WE THOUGHT WE WERESPEAKING FOR THE CHILDREN.
YEAH, WE'RE CHILDREN.
LOOK, IF THE BEATLES WENT BACKAND UPDATED "THE WHITE ALBUM"
EVERY FEW YEARS,WHAT WOULD WE HAVE NOW ?
YEAH, THESE GUYS ARE ONLYMOTIVATED BY MONEY, TED.
HOW SO ?
THINK ABOUT IT--SPIELBERG: JEW.
LUCAS: JEW.KYLE: JEW.
I'M NOT A JEW !
YOU LITTLE BRATS-- I MEAN,YOU DARLING CHILDREN
DON'T KNOW WHATYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
CHANGING E.T. WAS THEBEST THING I EVER DID.
DUDE, DON'T YOU SEETHAT IT'S NOT ?
IT'D BE LIKE CHANGING"RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK" !
WAIT A MINUTE,WHAT DID YOU SAY ?
THAT'S BRILLIANT !
YES, CHANGE RAIDERSOF THE LOST ARK,
WHY DIDN'T WETHINK OF IT BEFORE ?
NO ! NO !
The boys get interviewed on "Nightline."
With the popularity of a new weight loss program, the boys see their opportunity to become sponsored by a major restaurant chain.x CLOSE
When the boys travel to Aspen and hit the slopes for the first time, Stan has a run-in with one of the locals and is challenged to a race.x CLOSE
The boys sign Butters up as a guest on a popular afternoon talk show that features people with weird deformities.x CLOSE
When the boys kidnap baby calves to save them from becoming sweet juicy veal steaks, the police show up and a standoff ensues.x CLOSE
All the kids in South Park are wild with anticipation to see the first trailer for the latest Terrance and Phillip movie.x CLOSE
The boys fire Butters as their friend, unleashing his dark side.x CLOSE
Cartman tries to retrieve his Sea Men from Ms. Choksondik's stomach, while Professor Chaos plans to destroy the world.x CLOSE
Priest Maxi travels to Rome when the Catholic Church scandal begins to impact church attendance in South Park.x CLOSE
The boys take on a cause when they realize that their favorite films are being enhanced, re-released and ruined in the process.x CLOSE
Bebe is the first girl in the fourth grade to "develop," threatening the boys' friendship and society in general.x CLOSE
The boys are furious about the changes made to classic movies.x CLOSE
The boys get interviewed on "Nightline."x CLOSE
Steve Spielberg has the boys arrested.x CLOSE
The boys offer free hats to anyone who shows up to their rally.x CLOSE
The boys' incentive creates a misunderstanding among the locals.x CLOSE
The free Hat movement splits up it duties.x CLOSE
Cartman initiates plan B.x CLOSE
Trey Parker and Matt Stone talk about "South Park's" re-release.x CLOSE
Tweek is left to save the boys on his own.x CLOSE
Tweek chokes with the RPG.x CLOSE