WELL TOM, I'M HERE LIVEIN LAS VEGAS
AT WHAT IS QUICKLY BECOMINGKNOWN AS THE GAYEST PARTY EVER.
EVERYONE IS SO OUTRAGED THATTHEY ARE BUILDING A LARGE CROSS
IN WHICH TO, ONCE AGAIN,CRUCIFY OUR LORD AND SAVIOR
JESUS, WHY DOESGOD HATE ME ?
HUH ?HE DOESN'T HATE YOU,HE HATES ME !
HE'S GONNA LET MEBE CRUCIFIED AGAIN.
HE HATES ME MORE.
HE DOESN'TANSWER MY PRAYERS.
I PRAYED TO HIM EVERY DAYAND HE NEVER ANSWERED ME.
BUT JUST BECAUSE GODDOESN'T ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS
DOESN'T MEAN HEDOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
WELL THEN, WHY DIDN'THE GIVE ME WHAT I WANTED ?
GOD CAN'T JUSTANSWER EVERY PRAYER
AND SUDDENLY GIVE YOUEVERYTHING YOU WANT.
THAT TAKES ALL THELIVING OUT OF LIFE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
IF GOD ANSWEREDALL OUR PRAYERS,
THERE'D BE NOTHING LEFTFOR US TO DO OURSELVES.
LIFE IS ABOUT PROBLEMS,AND OVERCOMING THOSE PROBLEMS.
AND GROWING AND LEARNINGFROM OBSTACLES.
IF GOD JUST FIXEDEVERYTHING FOR US,
THEN THERE'D BENO POINT IN OUR EXISTENCE.
THAT'S WHY HE WOULDN'TSHOW UP TO MY NEW YEAR'S PARTY.
I JUST WANTEDMY PERIOD.
I GET IT NOW, FATHER !
I HAD TO LEARNALL THIS ON MY OWN.
I WAS OVERCOME WITHMY NEW POPULARITY
AND I LET PRIDE GET IN THE WAYOF GOOD JUDGMENT.
WHOA, WHAT IS THAT ?
GOD IS GOING TOSHOW HIMSELF ?
LOOK, I CAN SEE HIM !
FATHER, YOU CAME !
NOW, LOOK UPON ME,MY CHILDREN, AND KNOW ME.
BE YE NOT AFRAID,BLESSED ART THOU, MY CHILDREN.
THAT'S GOD ?
YEA, 'TIS MY FATHERTHE CREATOR.
HE IS THE ALPHA, THE OMEGA,THE BEGINNING AND THE END.
WELL YEAH,BUT... THAT ?!
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT METO LOOK LIKE, MY SON ?
WELL NOT LIKE THAT !
SINCE IT IS THE ENDOF THE FIRST 2,000 YEARS
I WILL ALLOW YOU, MY CHILDREN,TO ASK ME ONE QUESTION.
ONE QUESTION ?
ONLY ONE ?
WHAT SHOULDWE ASK HIM ?
WE HAVE TOTHINK CAREFULLY !
WE CAN ASK HIMANYTHING WE WANT
LIKE, "WHAT'S THEMEANING OF LIFE ?"
OR, "WHY ARE WE HERE ?"
Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRALI HAVE THE QUESTION !
NOW YOU HAVE TO ANSWER MEONCE AND FOR ALL...
HOW COME I HAVEN'TGOTTEN MY PERIOD YET ?
MY CHILD,YOU ARE A BOY.
BOYS DO NOT GET PERIODS,THAT'S ONLY FOR GIRLS.
YOUR FRIENDS WERE BLEEDINGA LITTLE BIT OUT OF THEIR ASSES
BECAUSE OF ANACUTE COLON INFECTION
AND YOUR FRIEND KYLESIMPLY LIED ABOUT IT.
HOW'D HE KNOW THAT !?
YOU WILL HIT PUBERTYWHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT.
BUT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE APERIOD, BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAN.
THUS, SPAKETH THE LORD.
AND NOW IRETURN TO HEAVEN.
HEY, WAIT !
THAT DOESN'T COUNT AS OURQUESTION, DOES IT ?
I'LL ANSWER ANOTHER ONNEW YEAR'S EVE
IN THE YEAR 4000.
DID YOU HEAR THAT,EVERYBODY ?
I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSEDTO HAVE MY PERIOD
THAT'S WHY GOD WASN'TANSWERING ME BEFORE !
BOY, I'M SURE GLADEVERYTHING WORKED OUT OKAY !
I GUESS NOW, WE CAN ALLCELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR, HUH ?
♪ SHOULD AULD ACQUAINTANCEBE FORGOT ♪
♪ AND NEVERBROUGHT TO MIND ♪
God Shows Himself
God shows himself to the residents of South Park.
The boys are sent to the Costa Rican rainforest as a part of the Getting Gay with Kids choir tour.x CLOSE
The citizens of South Park are exploding randomly. Stan's dad is on the case.x CLOSE
Chef finally finds the girl of his dreams, but the boys feel like they've lost their best friend.x CLOSE
While camping on the banks of Starks Pond, the boys discover the last two Jakovasaurs left alive on the planet.x CLOSE
The boys coerce two of their reluctant classmates, Tweek and Craig, into a school yard fight.x CLOSE
Cartman sues Stan for sexual harassment.x CLOSE
Shelly babysits Cartman.x CLOSE
The ATF is stationed outside a town party and a standoff reminiscent of Waco is played out in South Park.x CLOSE
As all of South Park waits for the meteor shower to begin, Kyle and Ike go into the wilderness on a Jewbilee camping trip.x CLOSE
The boys are being plagued by the fifth graders and Pirate Ghosts in this haunting Halloween episode. Special guest: Korn.x CLOSE
God shows himself to the residents of South Park.x CLOSE
After a bad Rod Stewart performance, the crowd turns on Jesus.x CLOSE
Kenny dies from having a tampon shoved up his ass for a week.x CLOSE
Cartman is the first to get his period.x CLOSE
Jesus talks to the crowd gathered outside his house.x CLOSE
Cartman takes his time buying maxi pads.x CLOSE
Jesus tries to convince God to show himself on New Year's Eve.x CLOSE
Stan and Jesus write letters to God.x CLOSE
Jesus announces that he has booked Rod Stewart for a New Year's Eve concert.x CLOSE
Chef sings a song to Stan about the menstrual cycle.x CLOSE