on South ParkPublic Access.
Believe in me andye shall find peace.
First caller you're on"Jesus and Pals".
( man )Yeah, is this Jesus ?
YES CALLER, YOU NEED TOTURN YOUR TV DOWN.
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GETTINGTHAT WEIRD FEEDBACK.
This is Martin.
Martin from Aspen Park,yes I know.
How the hell'dyou know that ?
MAYBE BECAUSE I'MTHE SON OF GOD, BRAINIAC.
NOW DO YOUHAVE A QUESTION ?
Yeah, I have this cousinwho cheated on the SAT's--
TELL LITTLE GREGORYTHAT CHEATING IS LYING
AND LYING IS WRONG NO MATTERWHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE.
Okay, thanksfor the advice, Jesus.
NEXT CALLER,YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
Yes my son.
IS IT OKAY TO KILL SOMEBODYIF THEY ASK YOU TO
BECAUSE THEY'RE INA LOT OF PAIN ?
LIKE ASSISTED SUICIDE,IS THAT OKAY ?
I'M NOT TOUCHING THATWITH A 60 FOOT POLE.
+ I'M GOING DOWNTO SOUTH PARK +NEXT CALLER.
I HEARD THAT.
WHAT'S WRONGWITH EVERYBODY ?
HEY YOU GUYS,"TERRANCE AND PHILLIP" IS ON !
DO YOU THINK WE'LL GETIN TROUBLE FOR WATCHING IT ?
KYLE, DON'T BESUCH A BUTT-HOLE.
YEAH, JUST 'CAUSE YOUR MOMIS A STUPID BITCH
DOESN'T MEAN THE WHOLE WORLDHAS TO SUFFER.
DON'T CALL MY MOMA BITCH, CARTMAN !
YOUR MOMIS ABITCH.
( tv )And now backto "Terrance and Phillip".
Hey Phillip, would youlike to eat some beans ?
Oh, yeah,I love beans !
UH-OH, I BET I KNOWWHAT'S COMING.
BILLY, WOULD YOU MIND HOLDINGTHIS FOR GRANDPA PLEASE ?
JUST GET OUT OFTHE WAY OF THE TV.
it looks like those beansmight make me fart.
Well don't farton me, terrance.
DUDE, HE'S GONNA FARTON HIS HEAD AGAIN !
( loud mumbling )
HEY YOU'RE GONNAMISS IT, KENNY !
( farting )
You're such anasshole Terrance !
That's rightI am !
( exploding diarrhea )
KENNY, YOU'RE GONNAMISS THE FART !
JESUS, WHAT THE HELLARE YOU DOING ?!
WE'RE NOT WATCHING"TERRANCE AND PHILLIP",I SWEAR.
I MEAN CARTMANWAS WATCHING IT.
NO, I MEANWHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOINGTO GRANDPA ?!
TUG A LITTLEHARDER, BILLY.
YOU JERK !
YOU WERE TRYINGTO KILL GRANDPA !
I'M TELLING MOM !
DAMNIT,I WAS SO CLOSE.
Jesus and Pals
Stan asks Jesus about his grandpa.
Aliens land in South Park and kidnap Kyle's little brother.x CLOSE
Cartman wins the school's essay contest, and a celebrity comes to town.x CLOSE
The boys' hunting trip is threatened by activity from a nearby volcano and a mysterious creature.x CLOSE
Stan's dog explores his sexuality.x CLOSE
A genetic engineering experiment unleashes Stan's mutant twin.x CLOSE
With the help of Stan's grandfather, the kids summon the Grim Reaper.x CLOSE
Trick or treat in South Park is interrupted by an outbreak of "Pink Eye."x CLOSE
Government authorities mistake Cartman for a starving African child and send him to Ethiopia.x CLOSE
When Kyle's musical holiday pal Mr. Hankey shows up, it makes for a memorable Christmas in South Park.x CLOSE
Jesus and Satan fight a battle for spiritual domination, which conflicts with Cartman's birthday party.x CLOSE
Grandpa Marsh asks Stan to kill him.x CLOSE
Kyle's mom warns the other parents about "Terrance and Phillip."x CLOSE
Stan asks Jesus about his grandpa.x CLOSE
The Moms don't approve of "Terrance and Phillip."x CLOSE
Stan asks Chef about killing his grandpa.x CLOSE
The parents discuss "Terrance and Phillip."x CLOSE
Grandpa tries to get Cartman to kill him.x CLOSE
The boys talk about Grandpa on television.x CLOSE
Kyle's mom leads the protest in New York.x CLOSE
Stan agrees to kill Grandpa.x CLOSE