"SIMON AND SIMON" WERENOT BROTHERS IN REAL LIFE,
ONLY ON TELEVISION.
THANK YOU FOR THATPRESENTATION ERIC.
BUT THE ASSIGNMENTWAS ON ASIAN CULTURES,
YOU GET A D-.
WHO SHOULD WE CALLON NEXT, MR. HAT ?
HOW ABOUT STAN,
OUR LITTLE SOUTH PARKQUARTERBACK STAR ?
OKAY STANLEY,YOU'RE NEXT.
I'M NOT REALLYPREPARED EITHER.
JUST MAKE SOMETHING UPLIKE ERIC DID.
ASIAN CULTURE HAS,
PLAGUED OUR FRAGILEEARTH FOR MANY YEARS.
WE MUST END IT.
EXCELLENT, A- !
WOW, COOL !
WAIT A MINUTE,
WHY THE HELL DOESHE GET AN A- ?!
ERIC, STANLEY JUST MIGHTLEAD OUR TEAM TO VICTORY
AGAINST THEMIDDLE PARK COWBOYS
FOR THE FIRST TIMEIN DECADES !!
AND WE TREATSTAR ATHLETES BETTER
BECAUSE THEY'REBETTER PEOPLE.
THAT'S NOT FAIR !
LIFE ISN'T FAIR KIDDO,GET USED TO IT.
STUPID PUPPET !
DON'T FORGET YOURASSIGNMENTS TONIGHT,
THEY'RE DUE TOMORROWFOR EVERYBODY BUT STAN.
MR. GARRISON, CAN IASK YOU A QUESTION ?
OF COURSE STANLEY,WHAT IS IT ?
WHAT'S AHOMOSEXUAL ?
OH WELL STANLEY,
I GUESS YOU CAMETO THE RIGHT PERSON.
WELL, GAY PEOPLEARE EVIL.
EVIL RIGHT DOWN TOTHEIR COLD BLACK HEARTS,
WHICH PUMP, NOT BLOODLIKE YOURS AND MINE,
BUT RATHERA THICK VOMITUS OIL
THAT OOZES THROUGHTHEIR ROTTEN VEINS,
AND CLOTS IN THEIRPEA-SIZED BRAINS,
WHICH BECOMES THE CAUSEOF THEIR NAZI-ESQUE PATTERNS
OF VIOLENT BEHAVIOR.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ?
GOOD, I'M GLAD WE COULD HAVETHIS LITTLE TALK STANLEY.
NOW YOU GO OUTSIDE ANDPRACTICE FOOTBALL
LIKE A GOODLITTLE HETEROSEXUAL.
Mr. Garrison gives Stan special treatment and a lesson on homosexuality.
Aliens land in South Park and kidnap Kyle's little brother.x CLOSE
Cartman wins the school's essay contest, and a celebrity comes to town.x CLOSE
The boys' hunting trip is threatened by activity from a nearby volcano and a mysterious creature.x CLOSE
Stan's dog explores his sexuality.x CLOSE
A genetic engineering experiment unleashes Stan's mutant twin.x CLOSE
With the help of Stan's grandfather, the kids summon the Grim Reaper.x CLOSE
Trick or treat in South Park is interrupted by an outbreak of "Pink Eye."x CLOSE
Government authorities mistake Cartman for a starving African child and send him to Ethiopia.x CLOSE
When Kyle's musical holiday pal Mr. Hankey shows up, it makes for a memorable Christmas in South Park.x CLOSE
Jesus and Satan fight a battle for spiritual domination, which conflicts with Cartman's birthday party.x CLOSE
Mr. Garrison gives Stan special treatment and a lesson on homosexuality.x CLOSE
Not even Jesus can help Stan with his gay dog.x CLOSE
Sparky is taken in by Big Gay Al.x CLOSE
The boys set up a dog fight between Sparky and Sylvester.x CLOSE
The football team practices in preparation for the homecoming game.x CLOSE
Sparky has sex with Rex in front of Stan's football team.x CLOSE
Stan unsuccessfully tries to un-gay Sparky.x CLOSE
Jimbo loses faith in Stan's football skills.x CLOSE
Stan has more bad luck turning Sparky straight.x CLOSE
Chef gets worked up over the football.x CLOSE